The Words

Acronyphic:- To speak almost entirely in Acronymns. As ably demonstrated by Robin Williams in Good Morning Vietnam "Seeing as how the V.P. is such a V.I.P., shouldn't we keep the P.C. on the Q.T.? 'Cause if it leaks to the V.C. he could end up M.I.A., and then we'd all be put out in K.P."

Arbiceptor:- A person who expresses opinions rather than generating ideas during a cerebral tempest. Later the abriceptor is likely to claim authorship or deny involvement depending on the success of the outcomes.

Automagic:- Something that is so conveniently automatic, it is almost like magic.

Baublophilic:- continues to play with items even though they know the items purpose is to distract them from spending thier time engaged in persuit of thier own self interest.

Bullworth:- To stay up to the point where lack of sleep makes you silly, stupid, or quite often both.

Capumulus:- To be vacant of thought and expression, air headed.

Carrosic:- To choose to actively disable your moral compass.

Castrothrumpification:- The wilful manouvreing of someone into a situation whereby they look foolish no matter what decision they take.

Churertic:- inconsiderate behaviour.

Churliganisation:- an organisation which habitually partakes in churlish or inconsiderate behaviour. A company that contacts you after you have been made redundant to ask if you broke something before you left and then ask for help fixing the problem would be an excellent example of a churliganisation.

Corbulistic (Cor-bulist-ik):- Someone who has a very limited sense of humour. A person not liking practical jokes, or having them played on themselves or others. To be a corbulist, be in a corbulistic mood. This word is derived from the time of the ancient Romans, and takes it's name from the Roman General Gnaeus Domitius Corbulo, who was known as a particularly serious and curmudgeonly man. During his time in Syria, he had a Legionary executed for not having his sword belted on him whilst working, which was strictly prohibited by Roman military law. The story goes that several days later whilst inspecting another work party, Corbulo stumbled across a Legionary completely naked, but for his sword - belted in the correct fashion -. Whilst most commanders of the time would merely have chuckled at this and then proceeded to have the Legionary put on a charge, the dour Corbulo had him executed as well. It could be said that this Legionary found his audience to be in a rather corbulistic mood.

Decap:- (See Also - Pan) Imperial measurement unit used to measure the level of panic in a senient being. The decap (abbr: Dcp) scale ranges from 1 Dcp (very mild panic, eg - being caught in a light rain shower, without any waterproof apparel) to 13 Dcp (Earth shattering panic likely to be induced by a Zombie led apocalypse). A Dcp of 10 or more can be fatal for humans.

Empeethreesium:- Causing innocent bystanders to be subjected to your own appalling taste in music, using a combination of poor quality earphones and excessive volume, in a public place.

Equimortis:- To persistently pursue a course of action that is doomed to failure.

Faecsparation:- The deep and meaningful thoughts that suddenly appear whilst you are sat on the toilet. There are theories currently being tested by leading scientists that the movement of the bowel stimulates some of the higher brain functions. Some more radical theorists believe that this is also the reason why so many "clever" people talk a lot of crap, but as yet there is no conclusive proof.

Farmo:- An incapacitating rage, such as might be felt by a farmer losing his temper with a crowd of army cadets misbehaving on his land.

Fatilution:- To be bored beyend the mere point of death, in fact to be bored so completely your molecules simply can not be bothered to hold on to one another. A person who inspires this state in others could be described as fatilutionary.

Feg:- Stuff. The sort of stuff that collects wherever you're not looking at the time, under your bed, in your car boot, or in the inside of your mouse. When said mouse is full of feg, it would be "feggy" or "fegged up".

Flatusosphere:- The area of polluted air caused by breaking wind.

Frakument:- To insult or intimidate by showing feigned concern or by the giving of a compliment - intended to belittle the recipient or induce a complex - Eg: "You look really tired and unwell" said without genuine compassion, and "That shirt looks good on you, it normally looks so bad with that colour hair". Do not confuse frakumentalists with those of a sarcastic (and often humourous) nature. The art of frakumentation is to deliver a carefully veiled insult.

Gironzolate:- which means to wander without purpose. To gironzolate stems from the Italian gironzolare with the same meaning, and is usually done after a meal or whenever the boss isn't looking. It has been claimed to aid the digestive process, however there is a distict lack of any supporting or contrary evidence. Examples of use:- Accusative: Have you got time to girozolate? Speculative: I think I saw Gary gironzolating by the coffee machine. Imperative: I must spend more time gironzolating and less time actually working.

Gormanistic:- To be unable to refuse a challenge or dare. In the Back to the Future films the male members of the McFly family show very gormanistic tendencies.

Izzardic:- To turn a simple observation into a saga, to transform the mundane into exciting eg: Mowing the grass can be rather dull, however, mowing the grass whilst listen to to AC/DC - Thunderstruck is an izzardic delight - don't believe me? just try it………

Jestalthesium:- Humour used in the face of adversity.

Lingostic:- To have the impression that you speak many languages, when in fact all you do when confronted by someone speaking a different language, is just speak progressively slower and louder. This only appears to show itself in those who speak English, there are also very few cases reported amongst those who speak English (US), but popular theories claim that even if someone fluent in English (US) did learn another language, that they would be tempted to randomly hide U's from words.

Mastake:- A multiplied mistake. In particular a mistake you have made due to receiving incorrect information as a result of someone else's mistake. In many situations a mastake leads to the persecution of the individual found out making the mastake, when in fact the person who made the original mistake at the beginning of the process should be the one held responsible. So far the largest multiple mastake known is a triskaidekamastake - one in which an original mistake lead to 13 subsequent mistakes.

Mclainic:- To suffer from or have an overabundance of maclainisms
To suffer from poor luck, specifically, the kind of poor fortune that consistently has you in the wrong place at the wrong time, the word taken from popular moving culture (more exactly) the Die Hard movies… And his unerring capacity to be in the firing line as it were.

Mediasinformation:- The intentional publication of misleading (and oft sensational) information through modern media channels.

Obvisible:- Hidden in plain view. Describing an object or objects which are hidden in plain sight. Masonic symbols on a one dollar bill could be descibed as obvisible. The act of hiding an object in plain sight would be 'obvisification', or to 'obvisify'. Examples of use: His stupidity was obvisible.

Pan:- (See Also - Decap) Metric measurement unit used to measure the level of panic in a senient being. 1 Pan (abbr: Pan - after all it's already short enough) is the level of absolute panic (eg Zombie led apocalypse). Any level of panic less than absolute is expressed as a decimal lower than 1.

Paranicity:- To take a form of joy from a feeling of paranoia, to feel excited by the sensation of paranioa. Example: To be excited by the belief that all fun web based activities (like playing with face book) are part of a worldwide plot to create a super database with details of everyone sexual preferences, social groupings and political beliefs.

Phonescapy:- The use of a pretend telephone conversation to avoid speaking to a fellow work collegue, some phonescapoligists employ the use of an accomplice to actually call their telephone when a signal is given.

Pseudopathic:- nauseatingly false. Which is to cause emotional discomfort or irritation by pretending to be something else.Examples of use:- I found Rich's impersonation of a cup of tea pseudopathic at best. I am unsure if the toxic avenger is an imbecilic sycophant or pseudopathic git.

Putrilingual:- The deliberate use of "lazy" English. The putrilinguist is the enemy of all lexical outlaws, and should be hunted down. The practice of putrilinguistics is the mark of someone that thinks they are part of modern culture, when in fact it just a mark of low intellect.

Rambustulate:- To offer opinions on all things Technical and IT related, able to hold a conversation with IT professionals and give the impression of sounding like you know what you're talking. Can also apply to one who uses an excess of Three Letter Acronyms in common parlance.

Salmonistic:- Going against the perceived normal or logical behaviour, the urge to walk against the crowd. A view/opinion/schema that goes against the flow of general topical judgement.

Sensaltus:- To see without looking and or to hear without listening. The abiltity to watch things out of the corner of your eye, or listen to things without anyone realising.

Seudopathic:- irritatingly smooth. When one person causes emotional discomfort or irritation in another by being over nice. Examples of use:- I think Gary is a seudeopathical sexual deviant who exposes himself to blind giraffes for kicks. The way you express yourself in public I have often found a little seudopathic. Generally used in the derogatory form.

Shoove:- To move something that results in the smoothing of an irritable wife's rage. Example of use:- Don't worry dear, I'll smoove it once I finish this fag.

Sponganglion:- Used to describe the stray spittle that can escape your mouth at the most inopportune of times. Sponganglion is usually the result of over excitement in a social environment, and in order to qualify as sponganglion the spittle escape must occur in the presence of others (sponganglion has to be shared). Any spittle that actually lands on another's face is known as prima sponganglion, An instance which involves spraying another person with a bevarage that was formerly in your mouth is called supra sponganglion. Sponganglion can also be used in a derogatory sense, to describe someone who has trouble fitting in with a team. However if a team actively conspire to alienate a member of their team (and thus create a sponganglion) - this is known as spongangliantion, and the team are sponganglionists.

Teutofrenic:- A person that is devoid of any ability to interract socially with other people, an atmosphere vacuum. Being in close proximity to a teutofrenic can make you lose the will to live. Very often abbreviated to Teut.

Thare:- Used to describe "over there", in particular when the object someone is seeking is in plain view.

Thaye:- An all powerful group of people that exist only to the stupid. They are evident in the speech of the stupid relating to causing agents :

  • "Can you believe thaye killed off my favorite character?"
  • "Thaye're raising the taxes of cigarettes again."

Threpstall:- A hole or other similar safety device incorporated into a pen lid. In 1987 the disposable pen industry sent out a tender for a way to prevent children and childish adults from choking on pen lids. There were many responses, including Van Burgens blades of death and Coolister's rather radical approach of replacing the lids with small poisonous tree frogs - which although prevented choking, had other serious side effects. The idea that won in the end though was Daniel Threpstall's simple one of drilling a small hole in the top of the lid, in his honour all pen related safety features are now called Threpstalls. Threpstall himself was suitably rewarded for his invention and has since ploughed his not inconsiderable fortune into the search for the albino space mouse.

Thunk:- To think heavily while repeatedly slapping yourself about the head. Example of use: I am sure I can go to that party but why does that date seem familiar?
Often the case will be that you have agreed to go to a party and forgotten a good friend's/wife's/family members birthday

Tomistication:- One who takes pleasure in making others redundant in a servile or obsequious manner. Examples of use: That S.O.B really gets his rocks of when he tomisticates a department.

Tored:- To experience a level of boredom so extreme that your brain quite literally shuts down. Often experienced when doing clerical temp work.

Tuttologo:- To know all. A person who knows, or believes they know everything. Commonly refered to as a know it all. Examples of use: Tim's tuttologic attitude really twists my nipples.

Verbalicity (Verbal~issitee):- To talk nonsense, particularly as a result of the mind meandering during the hours of work, commonly called 'Verbal diarrhoea'

Weakerton:- cast from the word singleton, a weakerton is a person or a social sector which is weaker than their counterpart.

Wollump:- A catch all word that can have any meaning. This addition to the Lexical Outlaws armoury can allow you to get out of any tricky linguistic spot. Wollump can even be substituted for a word you actually know in order to outwit your audience. It is the ace trump card of the English language.

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